*chinks wine glass, pointedly, clumsily, a little too hard and it breaks and so I have to go and find the dustpan and brush and I cut my finger and I sweat a little bit and swear*
ATTENTION PLEASE IF YOU WILL:
The Secret Genius Project was unleashed onto the mildly interesting but mostly modestly genteel world of the UK nursery industry. With a polka-dotted BANG.
Here it is, in all of its trade-show-plonky-storytelling-way:
Ta dah! That is what two years and unmentionable amounts of money will get you. An inflatable travel cot which fits into your hand luggage, no less.
So we entered a competition for new products for the nursery industry and got through to the semi finals, which meant we had a stand at the London trade show and got to show it to buyers, retailers and manufacturers, and try to gauge the interest. We won the competition and got some money and some validation from the industry that it is a good idea. And now we have to get it ready for sale in the european spring.
The trade show was kind of boring but also kind of fun, because we felt like we had a job. And everyone thought we were totally brilliant. There were no chairs, so we had to peddle it standing all day on mid-heels and I got a cold sore from the stress of being a saleslady. It also may have come from the lack of fruit and vegetables that I consumed over the three days. There was only a Tesco store to buy your sandwiches and I may have contracted a cold-sore-type-no-vegetables-scurvy. There was also this odd free cake PR situation downstairs and so every day I grabbed a slice of raspberry and white chocolate mud cake which was awesome but which gave me sugar-manicness, which, actually, helped me a a very enthusiastic saleslady. Practically kissing anyone who came near. I hope they didn’t get any coldsores.
There was also an unfortunate prototype incident where the cot got stuck in FedEx purgatory in Stansted after leaving New Zealand at the last minute. We had to drive there and pick it up on Saturday, the day before the grand unveiling at the show, when we were supposed to be setting up our polka-dot cacophony of matching travel-cot accessories and our plinth, atop of which sat a monitor displaying the exact slideshow above. I am nothing if not technically proficient. Anyway, we got caught in traffic, and arrived at FedEx on a Saturday with no tracking number, and a cold sweat. LUCKY WE HAVE MOBILE PHONES AND IPADS, EH? Phew. So we got that sorted and then proceeded to be glamorous clever ladies all weekend with tidy hair and shellacked nails and a great line in leaflet-presentation. I learned to scan the name-badges for barcodes, because them with barcodes were buyers, and thrust the leaflet into their hand while offering the plaintive cry “Inflatable travel cot?” in a coquettish manner.
Anyway, enough about that. The only other thing to say is that the four days of prototype retrieval/flogging meant that no one else was here to do the dreadful domestic Tasks Of Dullness. And CHAOS REIGNED. No one put the rubbish out, did the washing, made the lunches, bought food, put the rent money into the rent account, opened letters, emptied the school bags, replied to emails or opened letters. We were all very glum and hungry and we missed having mummy around. Even me. So, absolute kudos to working women everywhere who have to do all the working, and all of the boring stuff that make a family actually work. Those dull little details that, once ignored, bring everyone to a miserable standstill. In this case, my 50’s housewifey arrangement actually makes cold, hard sense.
Anyway, I am off tomorrow to Derby to see if our manufacturers want to invest. Hurrah! Wish me luck!