Naming the baby sucks

Oh the poor poor baby. He/She is going to arrive at the end of January and we have no idea what to call it. Mark is positively bored by the naming process fourth time around – he barely looks up from “American Chopper” when I suggest something. And just bangs on about how he wants to call the baby by the name of our old dog. Again and again. So I go thinking and searching and come up with slightly bonkers names and have to test them on facebook/twitter/supermarket ladies and the best I get is “Well, I don’t HATE it…”. So, ah, I am completely at a dead clueless end.

I like Ned, then Gus. Mark likes Flynn and Mark Junior (and Trevor, Blue and Terminator, but I think he is joking – at least about Trevor). For a girl, it has been a done deal since we were first holding hands. Eliza. Which bores me silly now, but it has stuck. I have just been told that if it is a girl, Mark will let me have Clementine IF he can have Flynn for a boy. And I said NO BECAUSE THAT IS A DOG’S NAME.

Anyway, let this be a warning to you not to keep having children. Aside from the fact that you get looked at funny everywhere you go, and old ladies tell you how ageing motherhood is, while gazing pityingly at your non-botoxed crow’s feet and bits of crusty weetbix on your sleeve, and that you need a 7-seater and you just get fatter and fatter and your stomach more mauled-looking each time you pop one out, it all plays havoc with your imagination and your sense of humour. You turn Harridan-like, even. At least, I do. And you run out of names.

Barnaby and Noah have helpfully suggested Fingers, Batman, St Paul’s Cathedral and Hamster. They have warned me the new baby must not be a girl. Custard has not proffered much other than the dogged practicing of his biting and I fear I know for whom his little teeth wait. He can really only say “apple” and “Allawah” which is clearly an attempt at “Spiderman” – actually, this is probably his suggestion for the new baby.

They are all hopeless and therefore it falls to me to save this kid from mediocrity/bonkersness. If anyone has any suggestions, please do let me know. I am going MENTAL.

These fellas were easy to name. And they like pizza.

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9 Responses to Naming the baby sucks

  1. cath says:

    mike says errol. Sorry if spelt wrong, we up north squinting on cell screen. Anyway, then mark could have flynn in spirit. I say theo. I loved it, but with last name beginning with o i would have been forever stuttering.

  2. PaisleyJade says:

    Ha ha – I totally agree… the fourth child is so hard to name – we didn’t have a boy’s name sorted so were glad number 4 was a girl.

    Symon didn’t have a name for the first few weeks of his life until his older brother came home from school and suggest ‘Simon’ as that was a boy at schools name…

    I’m all outta names after having my own – all the best!

  3. Jo says:

    Fingers! Has got to be. Or Ignatius (Iggy). Am I bonkers?

  4. theharridan says:

    i has to be Iggy. bet mark will say no but i think it is GENIUS!

  5. Attass says:

    I believe Cath stole Theo from my brain. Theo Fray. Sounds like a rockstar/writer. Do it.

  6. Merann Bartle says:

    In the theme of animals past I offer the following pets names:-
    Jasper, Marty, Mike and Max.

    Arty farty names that have come across:-
    I recommend looking at past US presidents for some groovy retro names.
    Tui says Michael or Sam
    Marnia says Stan
    Deano says Gally (as in Gallyfray) or
    Cuthbert Horatio Fauntleroy Fray

    Good luck.

  7. westendmum says:

    You are naming your baby Sucks? Excellent!
    Anything from ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’ is popular now, Harper, Atticus, Scout…
    Although I love love love Eliza. If we had had a girl which we didn’t-didn’t our hearts were set on Maybe!
    WEM xx

  8. Jane says:

    Eliza is fabulous on so many levels. And somehow it has escaped the naming trends that have ruined Scarlett, Sophia, Violet, Clementine, Ella, Lily, Lila, Florence, Isabel and Rose for me. Yes, back when I first loved those names, as a teenager, they were not popping up every day in the birth announcements, as they are now. It’s so depressing. I don’t know how Eliza has been overlooked but personally that makes it even more appealing! Clementine is fantastic but I see it a lot (I know you hate that happening!), and it doesn’t have great nickname potential. Or does it? Maybe I have missed it…
    Boys names: Augustus/Gus rocks. So does Ignatious/Iggy. And how about Somerled, Valentine/Val, Orlando, Otto, Artemis, or Fintan? Tai suggests Cornelius or Remus.

    Regardless of the first name, middle name Huckleberry 🙂

  9. Jane says:

    Oops. That’s meant to be spelled Ignatius.

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