The clever, sexy and accomplished writer Betty Herbert (her ACTUAL, PUBLISHED book on shagging your (own) husband is coming out very soon, no less) tagged me to list 10 things I love. Ok then, says I, seeing as I have blogger’s block, although not like Anna Wulf in Doris Lessing’s The Golden Notebook, which I have just suffered through in the name of Book Club, because she was PROPERLY cracking up in the most tedious, well-documented way. No, I just have nothing to say, other than:
1. Casper has begun to shriek “I will tell the police what you are DOING TO ME!” when we are in public, when something doesn’t entirely go his way, and it causes people to look at us, all alarmed and suspicious-like, while I whisper very loudly that he should NOT talk about the police to other people, and anyway, I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING! Sweaty, ha ha! oh how kids say the funniest things! etc etc as I wheel the buggy out of the shop quick smart and run home to the safety of sound-proofed walls. Obnoxious and precocious, that little monkey is.
2. I gathered up all of my unworn clothes, ironed them, cleaned the bits of dried spillage with baby wipes, photographed them, posted them on eBay, did the maths and mentally bought myself a Chanel 2.55 with the hefty proceeds, watched and waited for NO BIDS. No one wants my clothes. My Marni dress. My YSL jacket. My DvF dresses. Is it becos I is UNSTYLISH? Clearly. Anyhoo, there will be no more of this sad eBay business. For real, this time.
3. I am driving to Derby tomorrow to meet a manufacturer. I really don’t think I can drive for that long. My eyes will close in driving-related sleepiness fo’ sho’.
4. I have been given the go-ahead to have another baby, provided it is a girl. So that is good news, although, technically, difficult to meet the requisite conditions. I will try, though, aided by my googled “How to Make Sure Your New Baby Is A Girl” articles, by people who are QUITE POSSIBLY medically trained.
10 Things I Love
1. I don’t really want to put these fellas here, because it is not very original, and a bit soft-in-the-head, but I love these the MOST MOST MOST:
Really inspired choice of husband. I didn’t really know it then, but it was the most genius decision to hitch my ride with him. And of course, the hideous-yet-excellent children. You know what they look like. Dirty, and violent. A reminder, anyway:
My Mulberry Alexa. Because I am a filthy, soulless snob. I use it every day, and it makes me feel AWESOME. I am like that with all of my clothes, and I have been like this since I was 12 and I had a clothing epiphany. I realised that purple t-shirts and bike shorts were ugly, and the way forward was FABULOUSNESS every day, even if you are overrun by small children/poor/tired/pregnant. Which leads me to my next love:
3. Sample sales. Tonight, I am missing the Christopher Kane one. The one in which I would have found a perfectly fitting neon orange dress with a prim neckline and pleats. I would have been awesome. But I couldn’t go, so I just have to imagine the awesomeness. Last week, I did manage to get a babysitter and go to the Alexander McQueen and Erdem sample sales. I have new excellent expensive clothes (which no one will want to buy in a few years when I realise the folly of sample sale-ing and I try to hock them off on bloody eBay again). But it was fun, OK?
4. My La Pavoni coffee machine. It is sleek and lovely and reliable (and leaky).
5. London. For the parks, the seasons, the streets, the noise, the cabs, the tube, the pubs, Selfridges, all the obvious.
7. A glass of sauvignon blanc of an evening. (Of every evening, actually).
8. My iPad. I love it unconditionally.
9. Benefit Benetint, for making me look younger. Botox also works for this.
10. A three-way tie between Kate Middleton, scrambled eggs and Glee.