Woo hoo this is a post written on the new iPad. It is MINE! Although we are pretending it is for ‘the family’. Because then Mark still wins, and I win. Win-win if you will. Whatevs, just shove over and gimme my iPad because I have IMPORTANT APP PURCHASING TO DO, for goodness sake.

So today must be brief because I am very busy playing with my iPad, and really normal life has not really resumed since this little baby came into my life. Children have barely been fed, conversation with humans has not exactly been forthwith. Mark has been perfectly happy about this because it has meant he has been able to watch
bad and violent movies without me looking up from the screen. Win-win, as I say.

Of course, whether I have engaged with it or not, normal life has been busy banging on in the background and this week it has been so terribly horrible that I cannot even make a joke or dwell or see anything remotely nice about it. It has been a week where we got a very distressing phone call from New Zealand, and the week in which we found out poor little Noah has been operating on a 40 per cent hearing loss for probably years. AWESOME.

And I lost nearly 7000 photos in my iPad-related MacBook clear out. OK, I found them again but only after a night of tearful, snotty vows to never touch hard drives again, and certainly not to go near the trash bin when I have a few glasses of pinot noir inside me. The shock of losing the photos meant the last glass was left nearly untouched, and whoops! Custard drank it all this morning. He was fast and sly. Sorry about that, Social Welfare-types.

So there have been tears, flights to New Zealand researched, and a few apologies to children who were cranky FOR A VERY GOOD REASON. Sometimes you are a bit of a crap parent. And sometimes you get your kid grommets. And a few extra treats in some sad attempt at compensation. Sorry, little man.

On a lighter note, it is my birthday on Sunday and I have found someone to come out with us. Yes, some people are totally into coming out with me, it is just that they are a little hard to find. And so, for my birthday, I have a Stella McCartney blouse, some (more) Tom Ford but in True Coral this time, and an iPad (which is not officially mine, but we all know the truth.) Yaysers. Becoming 33 is quite beneficial from a commercial point of view. I think a little secret trip to the botox lady might be in order when the smoke clears from the Week Of Sad News. Do not tell anyone though because really, officially, I do not approve of such vanity. But whatevs, there are lines appearing, and that is not Stylish, dudes.

So, happy birthday to me, and all of you other librans out there. I wish you all the Mac technology money can buy, lovely lips, and wide ear canals for your children. Ahem.