It turns out that I have posh children, who are very used to lunches at Carluccios and babyccinos and sparkling water and organic food and dancing classes and trips to Greece and private nursery and the odd brunch at Fifteen. Whoops – it just happened. But they are all very nice and grounded and Barnaby goes to a local school with local people which is FREE (with a questionable line in apostrophe-training as you well know). So, conscience mostly cleared. But a quick scroll through iphone photos reveals that it is Custard who is the most privileged – his vast experience of London cafes and cakes and muffins and croissants with fluffy milk is quite remarkable.

See the damning photographic evidence below:

Ok, this is a taverna in Greece, not London per se, but you get the idea.

Carluccios. Greedy – he has two lemon granitas

GBK for chocolate milkshake

Le Pain Quotidien (ack, the spelling of that confuses me every time)

A Westfield establishment. Heavy on the fluff

Today. Artisan Du Chocolate. Possibly the very best fluffy-milk joint of all time. Note the cup – easy to hold, large handles just right for small not-very-dexterious boys under two. Chocolate rice-bubble-type things. And the waitress seemed fine when they got tipped onto the floor. Custard totally recommends (as do I – check out what outrageousness we got served for the tiny sum of £3!!!).